The Loser who Challenged My Insecurities

There I was, minding my own business on a beautiful and sunny day in NYC. I looked GOOD. I mean GOOOOOD child, and I felt good too. I was smiling because I was so excited that the weather finally broke and that the sun was shining.

To top this off, I was getting compliments alllll day from the young to the old, and from nearly every race. I was radiating my gratitude for life and for the sun’s ability to breathe a different kind of life to and through me. I also knew I was glowing because I was regularly cleansing from bad foods and cleansing has the ability to show the work you have been doing on the inside, to the outside world. I was on cloud 9, or better yet on cloud 100 if there is such a thing! 

Then, the loser appeared. (They always do).

I walked by a man and his friend and he said something I hadn’t heard in years – “hey, make a muscle”, and they start to laugh uncontrollably. 

Everything in me dropped.

I hadn’t felt that humiliated and insecure about my muscular physique since I was in high school. But those feelings crept up so quickly it was like they were never really healed. 

In moments like this anger typically arises for most people, and this anger has us act outside of ourselves. Regardless of how much work I have been doing, I am no exception to the rule. And to be honest, my first thought was – “f-you, eat a salad”. And I meant every word of it in that moment.

It took me a whole hour to come down from my anger and let go of my justification for why my comment was appropriate. When I finally let go of being justified, I saw something really amazing.

I saw how quickly I allow one loser’s drop of sh*t into my ocean of love, happiness and support, ruin my day and have me act outside of myself. In a matter of seconds I went back to feeling insecure and I forgot about all of the work I have been doing on myself. 

We cannot let others insecurities become our own. Regardless of how we may feel sometimes, we have done a lot of work on ourselves, so don’t let a loser steal your shine!

:) Akua Soadwa
www.LetsPursueYou.com
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